Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Home is here


What an odd thought home has become. Not what it used to be, but better than I thought it could be. I don’t think that home is a place any more, or else I would be wandering around trying to find it. I don’t think it’s a person, or a feeling, those tend to move in one side of your life and out the other in some form or fashion. I have come to believe that home is a heart matter. It’s a place where we meet the fulfillment of deep connection. We long for a place where we feel we can take our shoes off, and stretch out on the floor, but in fact, what is involved in that action that speaks to us so is our guard being let down, and hearts feeling free to be who we are. It’s comfortable, but more than that, its where we should always find ourselves. When we are truly at home… we stay there, no matter what moves in our lives.

Being here in Colorado surrounded by mountains, and new things, I find myself “at home.” Yes it helps that the air I breathe feels clean, and I have a jasmine plant hanging in my new room, and the love of my life kisses me on the cheek when he sees me in the morning, but all of those things are nothing in comparison to the home my heart has found in my sweet Jesus. He seems so bright and clear in the face of the strange and unknown.
Don’t get me wrong… I am in fact quite shaky, and vulnerable. I don’t know how to drive the roads here, and getting lost goes deeper than forgetting which turn to take.It bleeds into lots of places. Lost isn’t a great feeling. It isn’t prominent and doesn’t come often, only in small moments when I feel like a little girl who is pretending to be a big one. Just part of the process right?

I drove here in a car that didn’t have a prayer of making it…. but lots of those were offered up and I half glided, half dragged myself here, spluttering into the parking lot of my new home just in time. God kept filling my gas tank, and I drove all the way from Kentucky to Denver Colorado paying a little over $100 in gas for the WHOLE way! Provision. Miraculous. 

There are lots of words to use here. But mostly I will just say that I am learning the art of homemaking in a new way. Not just hanging pictures and picking flowers. But making a home for my heart, even in unfamiliar places. 
I have a bed! It’s big and fluffy, and far beyond what I expected to receive in my first week here. I also have windows that look out on the mountains, and a closet the length of my room. My stuff has found a home mostly, I just need to do a bit more good-willing. I am finding myself in cooking and rearranging. It feeds my soul and speaks to the places that are unsure of themselves. No matter where I go, I will ALWAYS feel at home in a kitchen, and in loving people through hospitality. Due to the fact that I process things through creating, and serving others.... my roommates and my boyfriend have been eating very well. :) 

Here are a few pictures I hurriedly took a few mornings ago... I made a gluten/refined sugar free gallette. Pear and rosemary, with orange curd. Lots of sea salt on the side.




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