*Sorry about all the foodless posts. Things have been so busy with cooking, and there are still thoughts to be voiced. I do add random pictures I've taken so I hope that helps.
We think we know who we are and what we are capable of... but then one
day, we look down at our hands and think "where did all this filth
come from?" It's a shocking (but not-so-new) realization that we. are.
not. clean.
Not sparkly, and well composed. Not on our own at least.
I find myself getting in this pattern of shushing myself, and my own
conscience. I sing myself a lullaby. I tell myself, "it's alright, you
make mistakes, God has so much grace for you." HE DOES, but my spirit
becomes numb from so many gentle pats on the back. Sometimes it's
important to stop and feel the weight, even if only for a moment, to
realize the brokenness of my own space. Even when I think my table has
been set JUST so... things are missing and out of place, and I
probably forgot to polish the silver.
But God says... "Clearly, you are an epistle of Christ, ministered by
us, written not with ink, but by the Spirit of the living God, not on
tablets of stone, but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart." (2
Cor 3:3)
God looks at us and sees us as Spirit filled ministers. We are a light
even in our own darkness.
I like how He says "clearly..." you are an epistle of Christ. As if to
say, "duh!" Of course I still think of you that way! He is so darn
good. Written on our hearts are words pressed deep, like a tattoo only
without the ink. The finger of God reached towards us... and wrote. I
don't know what it says, maybe it's a new language, or maybe WE can't
even see it, but when God reads the words He put there, He reads
Himself. He reads that we belong to Him.
As beautiful as it is, I still find myself asking how it's possible?
Especially on the days when I walk around looking put together, and
know inside everything is NOT ok. If they only knew....
"Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as
being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God." (vs 5)
That's how.
day, we look down at our hands and think "where did all this filth
come from?" It's a shocking (but not-so-new) realization that we. are.
not. clean.
Not sparkly, and well composed. Not on our own at least.
I find myself getting in this pattern of shushing myself, and my own
conscience. I sing myself a lullaby. I tell myself, "it's alright, you
make mistakes, God has so much grace for you." HE DOES, but my spirit
becomes numb from so many gentle pats on the back. Sometimes it's
important to stop and feel the weight, even if only for a moment, to
realize the brokenness of my own space. Even when I think my table has
been set JUST so... things are missing and out of place, and I
probably forgot to polish the silver.
But God says... "Clearly, you are an epistle of Christ, ministered by
us, written not with ink, but by the Spirit of the living God, not on
tablets of stone, but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart." (2
Cor 3:3)
God looks at us and sees us as Spirit filled ministers. We are a light
even in our own darkness.
I like how He says "clearly..." you are an epistle of Christ. As if to
say, "duh!" Of course I still think of you that way! He is so darn
good. Written on our hearts are words pressed deep, like a tattoo only
without the ink. The finger of God reached towards us... and wrote. I
don't know what it says, maybe it's a new language, or maybe WE can't
even see it, but when God reads the words He put there, He reads
Himself. He reads that we belong to Him.
As beautiful as it is, I still find myself asking how it's possible?
Especially on the days when I walk around looking put together, and
know inside everything is NOT ok. If they only knew....
"Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as
being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God." (vs 5)
That's how.
It's not possible for us to scrub anything away. But we wake up with
the dawn and we find that our insides once again match our outsides.
They always have, no matter how many other things creep into our
souls, beneath it all are written the words of God on their tablet of
flesh.
The difficult balance of living fully into the grace we have and do receive and tending diligently to diving deeper into holiness as we see both our redemption and our need for it. Beautiful picture of the whole of it.
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